Episode 12 – Bitch Slap! and Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

Hello George Rant Review Cast Martin listeners!

Tonight we bring you tits, ass, sex and violence courtesy of Russ Meyers and Rick Jacobson. Trust me, it’s not as awesome as it sounds.

Again, we take a bit of a departure from the normal formula of direct remakes and look at a more spiritual remake. Not to say Bitch Slap is spiritually close to Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! but it does try to be.

Be forewarned, this episode is not for those who feel that pulp has nothing to offer.

And a quick update – we are working on something that deviates even further from our regular fare shortly – stay tuned. Or downloading.

Enjoy!

Episode 11 – Rocky Horror and Shock Treatment

Hello Ranters! After some technical issues (hopefully the last of them) episode 11 is finally here! Did you know Rocky Horror had a little known sequel named Shock Treatment?

Neither did I until I had to watch this pile of garbage.

You see, Shock Treatment is basically Rocky Horror with terrible songs, terrible actors and an even more nonsensical plot. Sounds fantastic!

I want to apologize for the audio quality on this one. I’ve tried my best to keep everything and make it listenable but due to some recording issues there was some white noise that had to be removed manually. Hopefully the gremlins will leave us alone for the next episode, which should be the classic Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! and it’s spiritual remake Bitchslap.

Oh, and one more reminder – make sure to like us on iTunes and if you have the time, write a review. I will read every review I find out on the podcast – good or bad. Seriously. Do it. I dare you. Double dog dare you.

Episode 10 – Wicker Man

Hello Rant Reviewca… Oh no… NOT THE BEES! OH THE BEES! THEY’RE IN MY EYES….

I know we promised Paranormal Activity but due to some technical problems, we’ve decided to skip the episode. TL:DR – Oh my god a door closed!

Today’s episode covers the seminal horror classic The Wickerman and it’s Nick Cage remake. See how a psychological horror movie critiquing the free love, hippy culture in England was warped into a weird, anti-feminist cheesefest where Nick Cage beats up women and children! Honestly, it took a lot of skill to ruin this movie on such a massive scale.

Remember to send good vibes, and reviews, our way on iTunes. Spread the word! I know there are at least 76 of you out there – if each of you tell at least 2 people to listen to this podcast I will be forever grateful to you!

‘Till next time Rantians.

Episode 9 – Ginger Snaps

Hello Rant Revewians,

Tonight’s delicious consumption of cinematic doublery is the Canadian goth-horror classic Ginger snaps and its sequel. For those of you who don’t know, Ginger Snaps follows the lives of two sisters who re having a hard time adjusting to the hormones and awkwardness of high school. Oh, and one of them is a werewolf.

I will keep this short – we should be getting back to our regular schedule after this episode so don’t fret.

Next time on Rant Reviews – Paranormal Activity.

Episode 8 – Grease and Grease 2

Welcome back Rant Reviewcast listeners!

Today’s fare is a little different than our usual assortment of slasher flicks. Today Rant Reviews takes on possibly one of the worst follow ups in history – Grease 2. Yes kids, I was as shocked as you were when I found out the beloved Americana musical had been butchered in a way only the 1980′s could.

From the songs, to the direction to the god awful acting, Grease 2 is a perfect storm of absolute awful.

Check us out later this week for Episode 9.

Remember, if you like the Rant Review cast remember to vote for us in iTunes and share us with your friends, Seriously, pass us around like a drunk person at a party with low self esteem!

Episode 7 – Jeepers Creepers 1 and 2

Hello Rant Review Cast Listeners!

After a harrowing 3 weeks of dealing with a particularly malicious bout of malware, the Rant Reviews team is back in the saddle and ready to post some rants!

This week’s episode covers Jeepers Creepers and its sequel, Jeepers Creepers 2. This is our longest episode yet, clocking in at over an hour and a half we had plenty to say about these movies!

If you haven’t seen them, Jeepers Creepers and its sequels are an oddly homo-erotic horror romp in the American Midwest. Their existence can be blamed on Francis Ford Coppola taking a chance on producing a horror film for a fresh but controversial director.

I don’t want to spoil much more, but Jeepers Creepers deffinitely gave the RR crew a lot to talk about.

Again, if you like what you hear, please tell your friends and give us a review on iTunes!

Next Week’s adventure – Grease 2. Yeah. It was Jason’s idea.

Fuck you Jason.

Fuuuuuuck Yoouuu.

Episode 6 – Infernal Affairs and the Departed

The sixth episode of the Rant Review cast is finally here!

 

The RR team takes on one of Hong Kong’s most infamous titles, the brilliant crime drama Infernal Affairs along with it’s western remake the Departed.

 

Both films follow the exploits of two suspiciously similar police academy recruits as they each take opposing paths of good and evil. Both are very well done in their own way, and while they have their flaws, are solid movies worthy of the critical acclaim they’ve both received.

 

While it may not be the usual sarcasm-laced bitchfest you’ve all come to love about the Rant Review cast, a deep discussion ranging from cinematography to the Irish boner for James Joyce brings an added touch of intellect to the podcast.

 

At least I think so. I may be biased though. Damn that Mark guy has a handsome voice – doesn’t he?

Next week – a return to crap form with Jeepers Creepers and Jeepers Creepers 2. Preview: we talk about pedophilia!

Episode 5 – May and Frankenstein (1931)

Hello again Rant Review Cast listeners!

Today we return to form with a look at a modern interpretation of a horror classic in Lucky McKee’s May. A deeply psychological horror, May explores the mind of a deeply disturbed woman desperate for human contact.

May had big shoes to fill retelling the Frankenstein story. Ali, Mark, Christa and Jason get a bit higher brow and discuss the meaning behind the films and their deeply rooted yet not-so-obvious connection.

Besides, who doesn’t like the idea of a disturbed girl butchering people for their best parts in order to make herself a friend?

In an update to our fans, please be sure to share our little rants with your friends. Oh and make sure to write a review in iTunes. It’s an easy way to help out the show!

I also want to make a quick apology for the randomness of the show’s release dates.Everything is under control now and we should be publishing these episodes every other Wednesday.

Next week, we continue with the intellectual discussion with Martin Scorsese’s award winning crime drama The Departed and it’s Hong Kong inspiration Infernal Affairs.

Episode 4 – Weekend at Bernie`s 2

After a bit of a delay (sorry Rant Review fans!) our fourth episode is finally done.

This week the Rant Review team was forced to watch the 1980`s classic slapstick comedy Weekend at Bernie`s and its sequel Weekend at Bernie`s 2.

Jason, Mark, Ali and Christa discuss the delicate balance of biting social commentary and a dead guy getting hit in the groin that exemplifies the Bernie`s series. Be amazed at Jason`s explanation of movie nostalgia and how it applies to films that don`t quite age as well as they should.

Nostalgia aside, Weekend at Bernie`s can be considered a must watch for some reason. It has a die-hard cult following that seems to persist despite it`s even shittier sequel. This begs the question – are movies fondly remembered purely based on nostalgia worth adding to the canon of film? Post a message on the page comment thread to let us know your thoughts!

Some highlights include: Mark discussing how much he loathes these movies! Racism! Ali’s unwillingness to watch the sequel in one sitting! Christa’s shock and awe at how a movie could go so horribly! Jason’s Bernie’s apologetics that would make a creationist blush!

If you like the Rant Review podcast please post a review for it in iTunes and tell your friends! Please! I`m begging you! I have no shame! EXCLAMATION!

Do you have a suggestion for the next Rant Review? Want to let us know we’re doing something wrong? Hate the podcast and want to rant about it to a bunch of internet strangers that couldn’t care less about you and your stupid opinions? Let us know in the comments section below! We take all movies in to consideration as long as they’re a sequel, prequel or remake.

Next episode – the Rant Review team returns to form with a horror movie. Not just any horror movie, however, but the seminal Boris Karloff Frankenstein, and its’ loose remake May.

Episode 3 – The Highlander

What really can be said about Highlander II?

 

They took a very original, enjoyable cult film, removed everything that made it charming and shoehorned a new story with little to no connection to the previous movie. Add time travel, aliens, environmentalism and poor acting and you have a recipe for disaster. Literally everything you could do to butcher a series was done here.

 

For those unaware, Highlander 2 was a massive flop that nearly killed a beloved franchise before it even had a chance to get off the ground.

 

But hey – at least it had a montage of Sean Connery trying on silly hats.